Coming Out Coach Teaches Families How to Cope, Communicate & Connect During Difficult Transition
Life coach and coming-out coach Annie Henderson discusses helping LGBTQ+ clients and families navigate coming out, using EFT to release stress, and breaking the habit of people-pleasing.
About This Episode
Coming out as a member of the LGBTQ+ community can be a sensitive, complex process for someone to navigate. Enter Annie Henderson, life coach, educator, consultant, and coming-out coach. After getting married at age nineteen, Annie embarked on her own journey of rejecting her people-pleasing ways and embracing her authentic, full self. These days she helps people who are struggling through a uniquely curated combination of counseling, compassion, and alternative therapies. Take a listen to Episode 75 of Open Mike Podcast for more information about her vocation as a coming-out coach, as well as her thoughts on the current progress of LGBTQ+ rights in a deeply divided nation.
Show Notes
- Annie’s background and bio.
- Introducing our guest, Annie Henderson!
- You help kids and family as a life coach —how did you get into that particular business, and what makes a good life coach?
- You say you’re an EFT… what does that mean?
- Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) are actually physical treatments, they’re not energy-based, and they start conversations?
- This is not just for emotional issues, this is also treats physical pain?
- You also specialize as a coming-out coach for the LGBTQ community. I’ve never heard that term before. Can you take us through that process?
- You were married, had a daughter…how old is your daughter?
- Does she know your whole history now?
- Were there many gay people in your high school?
- In high school, did you have an inkling?
- Does conversion therapy still exist these days?
- You do hear stories these days of kids coming out earlier and earlier. Does it feel like it’s easier and a more accepting process today?
- Coming out to your friends and family while you had a husband and child must have been very difficult. What was that process like?
- Did you lose any friends during your coming-out process?
- If someone is showing up in your social media feed and they’re draining you, you should not feel guilty about hiding or snoozing them in the name of self-preservation.
- What would you say to someone listening who’s afraid to come out, what are some things you’d tell them to make the transition easier?
- “Worry is a misuse of the imagination” —Dan Zadra
- Suicide rates are really high in the LGBTQ+ community. Does this come up in your coaching or have you had any experience with this?
- Annie and members of her church have started a community of support for LGBTQ+ people and allies that can be found on Facebook
- October is LGBTQ+ History Month. How far do you think we’ve come as a society, and where do you think we’re going in this movement?
- There have been great strides that have been made… however, there’s current discussion of removal of Marriage Equality and further protection needed, so there is still a long way to go.
- Is private coaching your main focus right now?
- It’s important to not allow certain areas of our life to become depleted while working on other areas.
- You mention how people-pleasing is such an issue in current society… what are your top five tips for people-pleasers?
- Oftentimes we apologize for things we don’t need to be sorry for when we can easily modify our language to not consistently reinforce guilt.
- Thank you to Annie Henderson for being on the show! You can find out more about Annie on her social, website, blog, or through her latest book, She Did It: 20 Inspiring Stories from Female Entrepreneurs Who Said Yes to Success
- Thanks for tuning in to Open Mike!
FAQs
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What does a coming-out coach do?
Annie Henderson agreed with Mike Morse’s description that she coaches people through coming out to friends, family and co-workers. She said there’s “no shoving out of the closet” and there’s a right time for everybody; some people are fine coming out to a few people and not to others. Her clients include people who are in the closet, about to come out or freshly out, as well as parents.
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What is EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)?
Henderson described EFT as tapping on certain parts of the body and face, which she said soothes the amygdala and nervous system and allows you to release. She uses it to help clients release what they are holding, whether purely emotional or purely physical, and said it often takes one session and gets really fast shifts.
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What advice does Annie Henderson give people afraid to come out?
Henderson said clients have told her she gives them hope because she has been through it and is happy and thriving. She encourages them to consider who they are surrounding themselves with, to give themselves permission to grieve what they let go of, and not to stay stuck in fear, citing the quote “worry is a misuse of the imagination.”
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How has LGBTQ+ acceptance changed over time, according to Annie Henderson?
Henderson said society has come so far, pointing to a current Oreo commercial, but noted that someone in Mississippi, Alabama or the Bible Belt, or with a certain set of parents, might still say it’s ‘horrible.’ She said talk of taking away marriage equality ‘just blows my mind’ and that there’s still a long way to go.
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What are Annie Henderson's tips for overcoming people-pleasing?
Henderson’s first tip is to be aware and catch yourself, for example when you struggle to say no. She suggests giving yourself permission to back out of something you said yes to when you really meant no; learning to communicate and express what you need instead of avoiding conflict, recommending the book Crucial Conversations; and noticing over-apologizing, for example saying “thank you for your patience” instead of “sorry I’m late.”
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